So it's time to get back on track with my blog. Today is what this blogging is all about, pushing through with the writing and finding the right balance.
Today is Mother's Day, so I'm writing only a quick insert while Darcy is at work so when she gets home I'm not pulling myself away, which has been the problem the last couple of days. Friday was a good day overall, and I pushed everything aside all day for Darcy, but at the end of the day, when time was running out and I still hadn't blogged, I asked her if she could clean up the kitchen while I blogged. She was wanting to go to bed, but she didn't want to say no because she didn't want to hinder me, so instead a big rush of sadness overcame her, changing the temperature extremely, and I can't write when I'm emotionally cold (or distracted, as Dallas stands next to me at this very minute sneezing over and over and Gavin sits beside me humming and bouncing around, which is why this blog is going to be short!). Sooooo, instead of blogging, I had to put everything aside and figure out what was wrong with her, as well as clean up the kitchen while I did it, and all she had to do was make a negative comment about me blogging to hold me back. So I didn't blog that night. Instead, I fell into myself, frustrated that once again my writing was being suppressed.
So yesterday I was going to get back to blogging. It's the weekend so I have no time away from the kids while Darcy is at work, and when Darcy gets home, she doesn't want me running off to write. I was trying to find a way to get my time, but one thing after another crept up, and I let it go. It made it to the end of the night and this time I planned on showering and then blogging, figuring Darcy would be in bed. But when I came out of the shower, she sat at the computer reading Facebook stuff. So I laid on the bed and began to drift. By the time she was done, I was too tired to blog. This seemed to upset her, and she insisted that I blog, but she's not understanding that I want to have time set aside to do this, not stay up all hours of the night doing it. But we come to that problem of what time do we sacrifice for me to write, and that's what this blog is all about, learning whether or not we'll be able to do this, whether or not I'll be able to start focusing on some real written work.
I realize this blog is all over the place. It's because I can't concentrate whatsoever. But I know I won't be getting to it tonight, and I didn't want another short "hang up". One of the problems with me getting back to the blog, though, was that I would feel like a dishonest writer to blog like I had been when this seems to be a problem for Darcy. And since Gavin is kicking at Dallas, I totally lost my train of thought.
Anyway, I have to go, it's turning into craziness here because I'm at the computer and kids are demanding. I won't be back until tomorrow, and hopefully this blog will get me past the craziness in my head of overthinking what I shouldn't write. I just wanna get back to my blogging about Iron Man!
Okay, that's it for now.
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